Eliza’s Window

A short story about a Librarian.

“I cannot believe I have lived in Seattle for the last five years. Another year is gone”,

I thought as I slowly walked through the park with my dog Percy.

“Hi Jane, how are you doing?”

“Hi, Eliza.” She leans down and pets Percy.

“I am doing well,” Jane says. “How are you doing at the library?”

“I am working on a new media catalog for the library system. It is taking all my time.

“My contact in New York City is helping build the system.”

“It sounds like you are busy, Eliza,” says Jane.

“For sure.” 

“Well, I should finish my walk,” I say.

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

I pull away from Percy, who snorts as he tries to move me.

Jane giggles, “You’d better go. He is getting impatient.” 

Later that day, I sit in my blue office chair and squint at my computer. Today I entered new media material into the catalog to update the computer system. It is a frustrating experience, to say the least. The library has implemented a new method for organizing books and media. My friend Sally, a librarian, leans over me and says, “Can you tell me what you figured out with the new system update?”  

“Sure.” She walks away to her desk.

 One more media platform in the system will make it easier for people to access media in-person or online through the library catalog. Anyway, it sounds good, but everyone struggles with the new system. Three hours later, I sit in the break room after messing with the darn thing for hours. I slowly sip my coffee. Sally stomps into the break room.

“Well—what did you find out?” 

I sigh.

“My understanding of the catalog is—.” So, I babble to Sally for like twenty minutes.”

She replies, “My knowledge of how it works could be more straightforward.”

“I am sorry.” 

“I still do not understand it fully.” 

“Ugh— why did we have to change the computer catalog?”

It is 7:30 pm, and I am home. After a week of work, I am exhausted, and my end-of-the-week routine is watching TV shows on Netflix. Percy snores on the couch. Finally, I am drifting off on the sofa. I switch off my TV and walk across the room, switching off the lights. I yawn and stretch out my tired arms. It is time to call it a night. Even though my headaches, I cannot fall asleep, and my eyes stare blankly at the ceiling and do not seem to want to close. Tossing and turning from my left and right sides, I long to fall asleep. I throw the bed covers over my head.

“Ugh!” 

The computer screen glows in front of my eyes in a dreamy haze. I turn over in bed and flip my pillow over again. I should contact New York next week; Saul might know what to do. He is good at understanding how the new system works. The media platform still needs to be fully functional. Finally, after hours of worrying, I fell asleep.

The following day, my phone buzzed on my small fake Ming dynasty coffee table three times. I pick it up.

“Jane— Hey.” 

“Hey, Eliza, do you want to meet up this afternoon?”

“The coffee shop on the corner.” 

“Yeah, see you soon.” 

Jane had this way of calling unexpectedly and wanting to meet up. When I first met Jane, it was odd how she would disappear and reappear without any reason. Now I know I can expect a call or text every few weeks, and it will be Jane wanting to meet up. We have been good friends for the last three years and have similar interests in art. She is a painter and goes to all the local art shows to sell her art. Sitting across from Jane, I sip my hot coffee slowly. She is telling me about her most recent art sales.

“I really did well. This year at the Freeman art exhibits, I sold three oil paintings. I cannot believe I did so well last week.”

“Nice,” I say. I could not produce more to say. I feel bad.

She laughs.

I slowly walk back to my apartment. I wonder if Jane is happy to sell her paintings for two hundred dollars at local art exhibitions. She is a professionally trained painter with a bachelor’s degree in art and a master’s degree in fine arts. But Jane does not seem to mind. After I decided to be a librarian, I felt discontented with my library job. Well, I thought it would be different, and I would be dealing with art and media all day. But instead, I stare endlessly at the computer catalog. It is the right career. It is just, well, dull sometimes. If I must spend another day with this catalog, I will do something extreme.

“Ugh!

Where is all the passion for research and preservation? All I do at the local library is check out books, advise people on holds, and organize the online library catalog. Oh, this is a frustrating day—and tomorrow is another day of work.

Waking at the break of dawn, I eat my breakfast and take Percy for a walk. The day is cooling down as winter is here. Two hours later, I am sitting at work in my blue office chair when I get a call from Saul. I eagerly pick up the phone.

“Hi Saul, how are you doing?”

“Hey Eliza, I am busy as usual but doing well,”

“How about you?”

“I am good but a

 little frustrated with the new computer system at work.” 

“I can help.”

“That would be great.” An hour later, working over the phone with Saul, we fix the computer system issue. I am thrilled.

“Thank you so much, Saul.”

“No problem.”

“Also, I want to tell you about a great job offer I saw.”

“In Seattle?”

“No, here.”

“I will call you later.”

I sped through the rest of the day, wondering what Saul wanted to tell me. The hours go by so slowly. I finally finished my workday and call Saul. He picks up after the second ring.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hey, I heard about a librarian job at the New York Public Library. I thought you would be interested.”

“I’ve never thought about moving to New York City.”

“Check it out, Eliza. You might be interested; they are doing an interview in a month.”

“Saul—I am just not sure.”

“Please look into it.”

“I will.” 

I sit staring at the ceiling and wonder, do I want to do this? I open my computer and find the application for the librarian job. The job description sounds good and focuses on the library’s history and art preservation. The following day, I slowly complete the form. This is an unlikely chance; they will never contact me. I sigh in frustration.

Later that evening, I sit at dinner with my friends. Sarah likes to host weekly dinners so we can all meet up. It is getting more complicated as Sarah, Julie, and Chloe are married, and Rachel has a baby. A group of six eating dinner. The conversation rattles on. Jane tells us about her excellent exhibition this week. Rachel worries about her son George and if he is developing at an average pace. He is only six months old. Eventually, everyone turns to me. I have been thinking about the library job all evening.

“What’s new with you, Eliza?”

“I have been working as usual.”

“Have you started dating

Again”, Julie rude remarks.

“No.”

“I don’t understand you, Eliza. You and Fred broke up over a year ago.”

“Really nice of you to bring it up,” I bark back at her.

Sarah interrupts us.

“Really, Eliza, nothing new?”

“Not romantic, no.” 

“But I did find a new job.”

“Where?!” they all said at once.

I smile and laugh.

“In New York City.” 

Everyone gasps.

“Why?” 

“It is time for a change. I have been stuck in the same job for five years now.”

Juliet and Rachel both speak simultaneously, “You are still recovering from a broken heart.”

“You don’t really want to move.”

I sigh.

A month later, I receive a call from New York City, and they want me to come in on November 18th at 11:55am for an interview. I breathe in deeply. Is this really happening to me? I accept the offer. I search online later that evening and buy my plane ticket for the morning of November 17th. On Friday, I get the courage to tell my boss I want to take the week off.

“Why?” Steven, my boss, wants to know.

” I am taking a trip to New York City.”

“Not if you want to save your vacation hours for summertime.” 

“No, I need to be in New York City next week. Please, Steven.” 

“Fine. Be back for the whole week after your vacation. “

“Yes, sir.”

I cannot believe I am going to New York City. Sitting on the plane, I stare out the window. The clouds cover everything with a white blanket. I let out a long breath. Thankfully, Saul agreed to meet me at the airport. I arrive on time at the airport. I hurry across the airport to Saul. We smile at each other and laugh.

“I cannot believe I am in New York City!”

“I am so glad you are here, Eliza.” 

He picks up my carry-on bag, and I wheel my suitcase into the parking lot. The taxi takes us out of the airport and down to my hotel. Later, I lie on my hard bed and stare at the ceiling. What if I fail the interview, or what if I get the job? What to do

Then what?

It is 6am, and I am on the plane heading back to Seattle. The interview was fantastic, and I really want the job now. I can only hope it will come true. I also had a wonderful time with Saul in New York City over the weekend and fell in love with the city. I have a thousand things to do if I move there. I close my eyes as the plane carried me back home.

•  

A month later, I stare at my computer screen on a Monday morning, trying to get up to tell Steven that I am quitting my job. I tell my boss I am leaving the job. He demands to know why. He offers me a better work schedule if I stay on. Finally, I get enough nerve up and tell him straight out – “No!”

So, it is the biweekly Wednesday night dinner again. We go around the circle, sharing what we are struggling with right now. I stay silent. Everyone glares at me.

“Well, Eliza, what is going on in your life this week?”

“Oh— I quit my job.” It is not the most diplomatic way of stating it. I sigh.

Julie moves forward. “Are you having a hard time right now, Eliza?”

“Why?”

“It seems you are ruining a perfect life in Seattle.”

“I am not,” I retort back.

Everyone starts protesting and pointing out why my decision is wrong. I sit quietly, listening to everyone’s opinion. No one supports my life choices. Later this evening in my apartment, I stare out my window at the bare maple trees that night. Am I making the wrong decision? Am I? I cannot sleep as I stare listlessly at the ceiling above me. The following day, I call the manager, and we have a polite conversation about what the job includes, and it is fantastic.

While searching the internet for an apartment, I call Saul to tell him of my plans to move to New City. As I walk Percy through the bare and bleak mid-winter park, an ecstatic feeling fulfills me. It does not matter where I am if I do something I love.

Sarah calls later that day and warns me I am making the wrong decision. I am taking this opportunity because I may never have another chance later for a new challenge and potential happiness. Sarah scoffs at me.

“You are being unrealistic and stupid, Eliza. Dreams do not come true, and we must face the reality of Life. Things do not change, and people do not learn new things. Life can’t be made of rainbows and promises.” 

I reply, “I will not be unhappy because you are unhappy. It is not fair for you to expect me to stay here because you are here. This is my choice and my opportunity to fulfill a dream.” 

Sarah hung up on me.

I sigh, “Whatever.”

Later in the week, my boss Steven calls me into his office and offers me a better work schedule if I stay in the public library.

“No, thank you, Steven. I appreciate the offer, but I am making plans to move.

“Eliza, you are making the wrong decision.”

“Thank you for your interest, Steven. It was nice to work at the library.”

“Have a nice day.”

Later in the evening, I break down in tears. I feel so frustrated with the lack of support from my boss and my friends, Juliet and Sarah. Also, my new opportunity in New York seems so far away now. As I lie on the couch crying, I wonder if I am unworthy or stupid to take this opportunity. It feels like a once-in-a-lifetime chance. Should I stay in Seattle? I have a safe job and close friends here. Why leave a place that is perfectly fine? Like Sarah and Juliet have said, why leave where you have friends and a steady job in a place where everything is new and unknown? I keep on crying, my eyes turning red and swollen with tears. My phone buzzes. I pick it up and see a text from Saul. It says, “Call me tomorrow. I want to talk to you. ” I smile.

I am leaving my job today. I am standing in the parking lot, and Sally hugs me goodbye.

“I wish you the best of luck in New York City, Eliza.” I hug her back.

“Thank you, Sally.”

“Keep in touch with me, Eliza. I am always willing to chat over the phone.”

“I will, Sally. I am going to miss you and the public library.” I try not to cry.

All my friends call and tell me they will miss me and that I should stay in touch. I promise to stay connected and tell her she can visit me in New York.

I pack everything up that weekend, and Percy and I make the big move to New York City in March.

•  

Three months later, I walk with Percy through the local neighborhood park. The park is full of color, and the trees move softly in the wind. I am thankful I took the risk to follow my dreams. My new librarian position promises growth and a community of fellow media enthusiasts like myself. Saul has been a great supporter of my recent transition and has helped me. I turn around, and Saul jogs towards me, and I cannot help but laugh aloud. Percy barks at a menacing gray squirrel.

“Oh, no.” Percy continues barking as I pull him down the sidewalk. Saul starts laughing.

“Stop that. This isn’t funny.”

He wraps his arms around me, and we both start laughing. Percy snorts at our feet and tries to pull us apart without success.

“I am happy where I am now.”

“I am glad you are,” replies Saul.